This week, we open up the experience of praying contemplatively and what the anonymous author of The Cloud advises us to do with our thoughts.

A description of the experience of contemplative prayer may help us to get a better idea of what the author of The Cloud of Unknowing is teaching us. To start, I sit down in a chair. I close my eyes, let my body become still, and breathe slowly and deeply. To begin I say my sacred word, Yeshua, in my mind. It’s like an interior whisper. Immediately I start reflecting on my day. I return gently to my word, Yeshua. Silence arises. Then, another thought about the day, that nasty comment from a co-worker. I feel annoyed and slightly hurt. I choose to return to my word. But the hurt feeling comes back along with a judgment: she’s always been mean to me! I don’t like her! Ever-so-gently I repeat within, Yeshua, Yeshua, Yeshua. Some silence comes. I lose interest in all thoughts. I lose a sense of time. Nothingness. A recent talk I gave floats through my consciousness. I wonder if the people enjoyed it or thought I was an idiot. Yeshua. Silence. More thinking, then the word, and then I think again. Yeshua, silence, thoughts in the background, silence, and thinking all happen in the space of a few moments. The work of my contemplative practice is to keep returning gently to the word and to remain in a state of relative silence. I learn how to be silent even when there are thoughts traveling through my consciousness.

I grew up on Long Island, and my family spent every summer at the beach. After all, it was a ten-minute drive from my house. Family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors all went to the same beach, so it was a great community experience. I remember, though, how the ocean was not always agreeable to all these Long Islanders swimming in its depths! The ocean was often rough and cold. It never felt warm, in fact. Most annoying of all, the ocean was full of seaweed. A mass of seaweed came with every wave. My friends and I would swim out into the ocean and come back to the shore covered in seaweed. It stuck to our bodies worse than tar. Sometimes we had to take a little while to peel it off our arms and legs. Of course, we’d go back out into the water and get covered again. It didn’t seem to stop us from enjoying the ocean.

We can have thoughts during contemplative prayer that are a lot like the seaweed at the Long Island shore. The thoughts can be incredibly sticky. No matter how many times we let them go, they keep coming back and they just stick to us. Even if we patiently wait out these thoughts as they pass out of our heads, they can come back and be even stickier. While our attention wanders easily, and we cannot seem to control it at times, this is not a problem for the work of The Cloud. Rather, the issue is that interesting thoughts catch our desire and our attentiveness. With the voice of an experienced contemplative, the author states, “Distractions may arrive unconsciously, beyond your control . . . A memory of some pleasant past experience may trigger delight. A painful thought may make you angry.”

The Cloud author has great advice for handling these sticky thoughts. The main way to deal with them is to repeat the word within, to come back to it as an expression of one’s naked desire for God. He offers further teaching: (1) to ignore the distracting thoughts while keeping a naked intent directed to God and (2) to admit defeat and surrender to God. In other words, the soul shouldn’t worry about distracting thoughts but train the spirit to keep seeking God alone, even when it feels hopeless. The author kindly says, “Give yourself up to God. Relax as though you are hopelessly defeated . . . it is nothing other than acceptance of yourself as you truly are.” Contemplation enables us to accept ourselves as we are, sticky thoughts included.

Today there are quite a few prevalent contemplative practices. One can choose Centering Prayer, Christian Meditation, the Jesus Prayer, or the YHWH Breath (as taught by Richard Rohr). Having named these options, I believe the method of Centering Prayer most closely resembles the “work” of contemplation the anonymous author describes. In fact, Centering Prayer comes directly from The Cloud of Unknowing. Like the practice described in The Cloud of Unknowing, Centering Prayer makes intention matter the most. Centering Prayer also uses a word to help center the spirit on God alone. The sacred word in Centering Prayer represents intention, consent, and surrender to God in love. Consent and intention are the heart and soul of the Centering Prayer practice. St. Matthew’s offers weekly opportunities to learn and practice Centering Prayer. Find out more about the Meditation Group.